Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gas pun

Q: What do you call irritating and dangerous fumes?

A: Ob-noxious

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Guilt pun

Q: What do you call guilt brought on by a bad pun?

A: Compunction

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Pee pun

Q: What did the mother say to her young son when he peed in his pants?

A: Ur-ine trouble!

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Bow pun

Q: How did the adventurer feel when he was attacked by bow wielding assailants?

A: He was h-arrowed.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

A Well Done Pun (Cooking pun)

Q: What did the man say when he received undercooked meat?

A: The dish is raw-ng.

(Rating: 3/5)

Friday, May 21, 2010

I got a gut feeling

Recently, I had a bowel examination to figure out what was wrong with my digestive tract.

I gut a problem, but it's intestine.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Door pun

Q: What do you call a door that opens easily and in a cute manner?

A: A-door-able to open

(Rating: 4/5- works both ways)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Convoluted Pun (Like we haven't seen that before)

Q: What foul tasting liquid did the butler pour into the soup to prevent the men at the fancy party from eating it?

A: Deter-gents

(Rating: 2/5)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Pun! (Animal pun)

Q: What do you call a daily publication about African antelopes?

A: A gnus-paper!

(Rating: 3/5)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I've got a pig selection of puns!

What do you call a bad pun about pigs?

A pork example of a pun

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Pig pun

What do you call a really fat pig that has fallen into a hole?

A: A g-round hog

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Twisted Pun (Injury pun)

Q: How did the twisted ankle feel?

A: It was sprainful.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Another copied pun (Copier pun)

Q: How and why did the copy machine cost to run?

A: Pay-per use.

(Get it? Paper use?)

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Burnin' good pun

Q: Why did the protester burn the new bills of money he was protesting against?

A: He was razing money for his cause.

(Rating: 4/5, works both ways)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Wire there more puns? (Wire pun)

Q: What did the electronic store owner say when he was asked whether he had extention cables?

A: Of-cords!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Pain't got more puns

Q: What did the painter say after his assistant spilled turquoise paint over his masterpiece?

A: You blue it!

(Rating: 3/5)

Friday, April 30, 2010

Bank Pun

Q: How engaging was the bank statement that showed high returns on an investment?

A: It was of great interest!

(Rating: 4/5, works both ways.)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Cooking Puns

My mother was making tomato sauce from scratch.

Mom: "Oops, I used a pot instead of a pan. The onions will boil instead of fry."

Me: "Oh well, you fried your best. I guess you need more skillet cooking."

(Fried, tried? Skillet, skill-at? Genius, for certain.)

(Rating: 4.5/5)

Monday, April 26, 2010

A bit of a stretch (reaching pun)

I was recently offered a job shelving expensive and heavy computer parts.

I turned it down because it required too much straining.

(Get it? Straining, training?)

(Rating: 4/5)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

(Skinning Pun) Potatoes!

I was recently offered work skinning potatoes.

It was an apeeling job.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Skiing pun

Q: What pattern do you get when a skier slows down suddenly?

A: Ski'd marks

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Wheat pun

Q: What did the farmer say to his son when he complained about his blisters received from plowing?

A: No pain no grain!

(Rating: 3/5)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Prehistoric pun

Q: What do you call a blister in the shape of a prehistoric beast?

A: A Dino-sore

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Really ehh pun

Q: What did the dog say when he saw an impressive curtsy?
A: Bow-wow

(Rating: 2/5)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bad Medicine Pun (Literally.)

Q: What do you call an evil painkiller that plans to take over the world?

A: An advil-lian.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Toy pun

Q: Why didn't the toy store clerk like the report on tops?

A: He felt as though the reporters were putting a spin on.

(Rating: 2/5)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Math Pun

Q: What do you call a conic section that is automatically recognized as a symbol for something else?

A: Iconic!

(Rating: 2.5/5)