Enjoy your Associated Holiday with a pun!

This holiday, I taught my brother how to focus.

That is, I gave him presents of mind!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Farming Pun

Q: How did the man feel right before he was run over by a grain harvester?

A: He was under a lot of thresher.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

You'll have to be drunk to find this funny >_> (Alcohol Pun)

Q: What do you call a conference about fermented grain?

A: A meading

(Rating: 2/5)

Bad Electronics Pun :(

Q: Where do circuit boards come from?

A: Circuit-tree


(Rating: 1.5/5 D:)

Hearing Pun

Q: What do you call a battle lost through loss of hearing?


A: A deaf-eat

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Electronics Pun

Q: What do you call a new method for combining electronic files?

A: An e-merging technology!

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Ice Skating Pun

Why couldn't the ice skater make an ∞ on the ice?

He couldn't figure-eight out!

(Rating: 3/5)

Color pun

What do you call it when you dream in color?

A pigment of your imagination!

(Credit goes Megan, whoever you are >.>)

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Cat pun

What do you you call a line of adorable kittens pictures?

Queued! (Get it, queued, cute?)

I'm just kitten around, though.

(Rating: 2/5, together, 3/5)

Pie Pun

As spoken by WeirdoOfDoom as they were consuming a pie mostly composed of nice looking chocolate cream.

Me: How is the pie?
Them: It's pretty filling.

(Rating: 3/5- works 3 ways but not excellently)

Angle Pun

Q :Why didn't the math student like using radians?

A: They were harder to some degree.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Don't knock it (Door pun)

Q: What group asked the famous ding-dong-ditcher for his autograph?

A: A-door-ring fans.

(Rating: 3/5- Works both ways but convoluted)

Blood puns

Since the gracious Pun Master is feeling generous, here's a triple post:

I was having a discussion about copious gore in media.

...saying all gore is harmful to the media would be mis-bleading.

...given the choice between no blood and too much, I'd choose the splatter.

I guess gore puns have been bled dry!

(Collective rating: 3/5- none are that good, but okay together.)

Rain Pun

I was walking home when it began to rain. It turned out to be a pour choice.


(Rating: 2/5)

Card Game Pun

Q: How much trouble was the man in when his opponent was dealt four kings?

A: He was royally screwed.


(Rating: 2/5)

Bulliten Board Pun

Q: Why did the man staple his advertisement to the bulletin board?


A: He didn't want it to look tacky.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Clock Pun

Q: Was the man angered by the loud clock?

A: Yes, he was ticked off.


(Rating: 2/5- doesn't work both ways, too simple to be funny)

Gross Double Pun

Q: Why did the lion roar incredibly loudly before killing and consuming his prey?

A: He wanted to make sure they were deaf-eated.


(Rating: 3.5/5- strange, but sorta works both ways)

Hearing Pun

Someone suggested that we hear by having lots of small hairs vibrate in our ear.

Everyone else thought it was a cilli-adea.


(Rating: 2.5/5)