What do you call a so-so yellow pigment?
Medi-ochre!
Definition of ochre (Taken from www.colorconcepts.com/glossary/o.htm.)
"A naturally occurring yellowish pigment composed of iron and clay."
Remember, ignorance of a word is NOT a good reason to rate a pun lowly!
(Rating:2.5/5)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Mooo! (Cow pun)
Why is it unwise to invest all your money in cow farms?
You put a lot at steak!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
You put a lot at steak!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Baking... (Baking pun)
What do you call instructions for food that ends up burning down your house?
A Recipe for Disaster!
(Rating: 3/5)
A Recipe for Disaster!
(Rating: 3/5)
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Har Har Har... (Returning pun)
How did the product feel after it was returned to its store?
It was taken aback!
(Rating: 4/5)
It was taken aback!
(Rating: 4/5)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
...and they did all that while playing Twister. (Twist pun)
Other: ...and then his own brother came an twisted his neck, killing him instantly.
Me: Wow, what a twisted ending!
(Three meanings: Twisted neck, twisted- cruel, twisted- surprising)
(Rating: 3/5)
Me: Wow, what a twisted ending!
(Three meanings: Twisted neck, twisted- cruel, twisted- surprising)
(Rating: 3/5)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Gouge out my eyes!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Weight, I have another pun! (Weight pun)
Other: Man, it must have been hard to move two thousand pounds of stone!
Me: Yeah, it was a ton of work!
(Rating: 3/5- It works both ways but has limited uses.)
Me: Yeah, it was a ton of work!
(Rating: 3/5- It works both ways but has limited uses.)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
More elementary puns.
Credit: BowserMan
What do you do to a dead chemist?
You BARIUM!
(Get it? Bury him?)
What do you do to a wounded chemist?
You HELIUM!
(Get it?!? Heal him)
(Rating: 2.5/5)
What do you do to a dead chemist?
You BARIUM!
(Get it? Bury him?)
What do you do to a wounded chemist?
You HELIUM!
(Get it?!? Heal him)
(Rating: 2.5/5)
Friday, November 21, 2008
Pretty darn bad! (Fairytale pun)
What do you call a girl in a fairytale with long hair who keeps making witty remarks?
RePUNzal!
(Rating:2/5)
RePUNzal!
(Rating:2/5)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Not a descriptive title. (Scam pun)
What do you call a test on scamming with cash prizes for the highest scores?
...
A CON-TEST!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
...
A CON-TEST!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Bacteria bacteria, everything you touch...
My brother and I were discussing bacteria cultures. My brother noted that alcohol and bleach were two of the common ways to kill bacteria. Bleach is better at killing bacteria cultures. To this I replied:
Other methods pale in comparison to bleach!
(Rating: 2/5)
Other methods pale in comparison to bleach!
(Rating: 2/5)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Mandatory fun-poking at SUV drivers... (Gas pun)
What do you call someone who drives a 10mpg SUV?
A gasshole.
(Rating: 2/5)
A gasshole.
(Rating: 2/5)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Pun/riddle (Heart pun)
Q: In what set of bones is the heart kept prisoner?
A: In the rib cage!
(Rating: 3/5)
A: In the rib cage!
(Rating: 3/5)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
My genious idea for a sign in a library. (Quiet pun)
*Speaking is not aloud.*
(Get it? Allowed? Aloud?)
(Rating: 4.5/5)
(Get it? Allowed? Aloud?)
(Rating: 4.5/5)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Caution! Slightly crude!
Friend: More stupid work! My analysis teacher is such an ass!
Me: Well, remember- You can't spell analysis without anal!
(Rating: 3/5)
Me: Well, remember- You can't spell analysis without anal!
(Rating: 3/5)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
On computer memory... (Computer memory pun)
My friend: This is strange. My text file says that it is only 1 bit!
Me: Yeah, that is a BIT SMALL!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
You can use this whenever dealing with memory sizes.
Me: Yeah, that is a BIT SMALL!
(Rating: 3.5/5)
You can use this whenever dealing with memory sizes.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Run! (Running pun)
I was attempting to run an 8 minute mile in my P.E. class. I made this pun as I completed the first lap in 1:58.
Me: "I guess you could say that I am on track!"
(Rating: 3/5)
Me: "I guess you could say that I am on track!"
(Rating: 3/5)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A fairly generic good pun. (Chair pun)
What do you call the act of giving out free chairs?
Chairity.
(Rating: 4/5)
Chairity.
(Rating: 4/5)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Science Pun
This pun was created by one of my friends.
After receiving a graded quiz on nomenclature (the naming of molecular compounds) my friend made this pun:
Aww, darn it! I made a bunch of elementary errors!
(Rating: 4/5)
After receiving a graded quiz on nomenclature (the naming of molecular compounds) my friend made this pun:
Aww, darn it! I made a bunch of elementary errors!
(Rating: 4/5)
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Ohhh... Burn.
After you win a verbal sparring use this catchy phrase to add insult to insult:
Me: I guess you won't be needing food for a while...
Other: Huh?
Me: That's 'cause you'll be EATING YOUR OWN WORDS!
(Rating: 2/5)
Me: I guess you won't be needing food for a while...
Other: Huh?
Me: That's 'cause you'll be EATING YOUR OWN WORDS!
(Rating: 2/5)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Citrus double pun!
Other: It'd be nice to have some citrus in this cake.
Me: We can ORRANGE for that.
(Rating: 2.5/5)
Other: Hmmm... Now it is a little tart.
Me: No need to be sour!
(Rating: 4/5)
Me: We can ORRANGE for that.
(Rating: 2.5/5)
Other: Hmmm... Now it is a little tart.
Me: No need to be sour!
(Rating: 4/5)
Friday, November 7, 2008
Another essay?!? (English pun)
I made this pun after receiving yet another essay from my English teacher:
Me: English teachers are in-humane-ities.
(First say "inhumane" pause, and then say "ities.")
(Rating: 3/5)
Me: English teachers are in-humane-ities.
(First say "inhumane" pause, and then say "ities.")
(Rating: 3/5)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
YABP (Yet another bad pun.)
Me: Have you heard about all those pyromaniacs who where struck by lightning after burning buildings down?
Other: OMG Huh?
Me: Yeah, god hates those that AR-SINNERS.
(Arsoners)
(Rating: 1.5/5)
Other: OMG Huh?
Me: Yeah, god hates those that AR-SINNERS.
(Arsoners)
(Rating: 1.5/5)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Caw-caw (Bird pun)
What do you call a man carrying an albatross around his neck?
BIRDened!
(Rating: 2.5/5)
BIRDened!
(Rating: 2.5/5)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I woodn't make this pun often. (Drilling pun)
Whaddya call a 5 hour class on drilling holes through wood?
BORING!
Gwahahaha?
(Rating: 3.5/5)
BORING!
Gwahahaha?
(Rating: 3.5/5)
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