Smell pun.

I have a pungent friend who belongs to a cult which is against bathing. This pungent group that believes that smelling bad and abstaining from cleansing is the natural odor of things.

(Rating: 3/5 - A little convoluted.)

Bath pun

Friend: I can't stand bathing!
Me: Of course not! If you could, it would be showering!

(Rating: 4/5- works perfectly both ways.)

Beverage pun.

What do you call the person who chooses whether to keep or throw out bottles of sparkling apple juice?

The de-cider!

(Rating: 3/5)

Mmmm... (Cake pun)

How bad is it to be forced to eat many rich cakes in a row?

Torte-tuous!

(Rating: 3/5)

Pun.

What is the best letter to have on a cloak for running away?

An "S" so one can s-cape!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Transportation pun.

What is it called when flashes of long cars are flashed for a short time during movies?

Sub-limo-nal messaging!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

More clothing puns...

Someone else: I think I'm gonna wear a tuxedo tonight.
Me: I don't think it's in your vest interest.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Probably starting to update daily again.

...so I'll start with a terrible pun.
This one is better spoken than read.

There was this girl who had a bleeding cut on her arm. All of sudden, a burning branch fell nearby and it cauterized.
(caught-her-eyes.)

(Rating: 2.5/5. I think it's clever but takes too much explanation beforehand.)

Ouch, again. (Philosopher pun)

How good is a pun that combines electricity and philosophers?

Voltaireble.

(Rating: WTF/5)