Not too bad. (Clinic pun)

What do you call a uncomfortable clinic?
InHospitable.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Blame my parents. (Grain pun)

Some people ask me how I manage to be so funny. After making a couple bread puns, I reply,

I was bread to be wheatty.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Constitutional rights are upheld... (Rights pun)

Why did the police stop me from speaking when I attempted to introduce a kind invisible man to them?
I was presenting a clear and pleasant stranger.

(Rating: 3/5 - It's a little obscure but I think it's clever.)
Partial credit to Sakana.

Failure! (Guitar pun)

Failing easy in Guitar Hero means that you are guitarrible.
Ummm... Right.

(Rating: 2/5)

Rocks! (Guitar hero pun)

Recently, I was discussing the similarities between Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

Me: If Rock Band sued Guitar Hero for adding the drums after Rock Band came out, there would be serious re-percussions!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Cleaning... (Cleaning pun)

One of my friends was recently complaining about having to clean up after dinner.

Me: After your parents told you to clean the plates, you were dish-appointed!

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Calembour.

This pun was conceived and wittily deployed by "I_<3_Horses."

During an argument (Warning: Contents may be slightly edited for comical purposes.):
I_<3_horses: I don't mean to be French, but that argument is BS.
Me: What does BS have to do with being French?
I_<3_horses: Silly monkey, I'm being Frank with you.

Ouch. Beaten at my own game.
(Rating: 3.5/5)