Shave it for later (Shaver pun)

Q:  How did the nonprofit purchase shavers for those in need?

A:  Fund Razors!

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Hula Pun

Q: Did you hear about the rave reviews for the hula hooping troupe?
A: Yes, they gyrated highly.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Pun-ctuation (Punctuation pun)

I just sat through a two hour lecture on proper punctuation.  It was a long coma-ntary.


(Rating: 2/5)

This pun is so fly (Flying pun)

Q:  Did you hear about the guy who forgot his parachute?

A:  Yeah, he had aerial problem!

(Rating: 3/5)

You're in for a Treat-y (Treaty Pun)

Q: Did you hear about that treaty written on yellow vellum?
A:  Yeah, it was a char-truce!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Dock Pun

Q:  Did you hear about the group of kids who jumped off the wharf?

A: Yeah, they succumbed to pier pressure!

(Rating: 3/5)

Shelling them out (Shell pun)

When making puns about the sea, one should be conch-ous of all the associated shell puns.

Conch you see how easy it is?  Shell I continue?

(Rating: 3.5/5 in conjunction)

Pixar Pun (Movie Pun)

Q: What did the man think about the Pixar movie with the balloons?

A: He Upproved.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

This One's Easy To Sea (Ocean Pun)

As spoken by 'Mustache Man':

Q: How was the man after decades alone on the ocean?

A: He went sea-nile.

(Rating: 3/5)

Unconscious pun

Q: What do you call a death due to lack of blood to the brain?

A:  A stroke of bad luck

(Rating: 2/5)

TREE PUN

Q: What do you call an arrogant man trapped in a tree?

A: Stuck up

(Rating: 3.5/5)

I hear swimming...

...makes for pool stories.
(Also comes in "Pool story, bro" varient)

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Cat puns

I've got a good feline about this post.

Q: What do you call a kitten apocalypse?
A: A catastrophe!

Q: What do you call a kitten that won't wake up?
A:  Cat-atonic!

Hopefully these puns help you CATch up.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Calcoolus, part 3 (Math puns)

Timing is integral to making good math puns.  Some say their humor is too derivative.  Often, the conversation turns to trigonometry on a tangent.  That's usually a bad sine.

(Rating: 4/5; that's sum high quality humor)

Car puns

Car can be substituted with care.

Imaginary Friend:  I feel that public transportation is unsafe.

Me: Yeah, be car-ful.

Q: Also, what do you call an impounded vehicle?
A: Incarcerated!

(Rating: 2.5/5, highly dependent on situation)

Pot pun and tips

What do you call an excellent kettle?

Pan-tastic.

Words that end in "an" or "and" can be spliced to "fantastic", "antagonize" or any other word that begins with "an..."

How was the beach?

Sand-tastic.

Some words a better roots than others.

Did you hear about the man who was scared of a breeze?

It gave him terrible fanxiety.


(Collective rating: 3.5/5)

Getting better.

Q: What do you call hooligans that make plays-on-words?

A:  Punks.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Container pun

Did you hear about the guy who made a 100-foot radius dish?  It was a bowled move.

(Rating: 2/5)

Un-barable bar pun

Q:What is it called when a book is first printed in a bar?

A: Pub-lished.

(Rating: 1.5/5; it's been a while.)

Electricity Pun Mark 2

Many of these are from an older post but I'm reposting them for the sake of completeness.

Puns related to electricity:
Ohm, shocking, current, spark, in charge, watt (what)

Gathering pun

Q:  What do you call a opportune place to assemble?

A:  Convene-eint.

(Rating: 2.5/5)