Pot pun and tips

What do you call an excellent kettle?

Pan-tastic.

Words that end in "an" or "and" can be spliced to "fantastic", "antagonize" or any other word that begins with "an..."

How was the beach?

Sand-tastic.

Some words a better roots than others.

Did you hear about the man who was scared of a breeze?

It gave him terrible fanxiety.


(Collective rating: 3.5/5)

Electricity Pun Mark 2

Many of these are from an older post but I'm reposting them for the sake of completeness.

Puns related to electricity:
Ohm, shocking, current, spark, in charge, watt (what)

On "Clothes"

Clothes sounds like close.  Use accoringly:

The apparel store is clothes.

After clothe-ly examining their wares, I decided that my time there had come to a clothe.

Apparel-ntly, everyone thinks my puns sock.  I think they're pantastic.  It's shir-tough to please everyone.

(3.5/5)

On Egg... (Egg pun)

When talking about eggs, any word that begins with "ex" can be credibly replaced with "egg."

This tastes egg-cellent!

Etc.
For the next couple days the puns will build on this formula.

(Rating: 2/5)

On "air" an "or."

An nearly infinite amount of mediocre/good puns can be made using words that end in the "air" sound.

Take "stair."

Other: Man, we had to walk up 2,000 stairs in P.E.
Me: That's stairable.
or
Me: That's un-stairable.
(Unbearable.)
or
Me: That's really stairy!
(Scary!)
or
Me: That's stairy unfortunate!
(very)
etc, etc...

Much the same thing can be done with words ending with "or."
Take the word "gore" in a recent conversation about the movie 300.
Other: There was a lot of blood!
Me: That's gore-able!
(Horrible!)
or
Me: It's not to bad if you ig-gore it.
(Ignore.)
etc, etc...

Remember, these puns are of fairly low quality.

This was added by Algebra Prodigy while I wasn't looking. It's funny enough to keep although it lacks puns.

This pun was really really noob.
I think ThisWas the MyName needs more micro.
He probably should work for Tyco
And he really likes J-Lo
and he likes to use the yo-yo
ohhh ohhh.

See his here.

Cheepo tactic for pulling off bad puns.

WARNING: This will more often get a "Grrrr" then a "Haha." Too many "Grrrr's" and it's "Ouch" time. For you.

Someone says something that can be interpreted a different way. You feign a double take and point it out to them.

Example from previous post:
Other:
I'm defeated!
Me:
Your feet look fine to me!

Use this on relatives, as others will have no compunction after killing you.

Setting up puns.

If one is not careful, puns will go punoticed, and the funniness is greatly reduced if you have to refer back to what the other said.

Therefore, setting up your puns is highly important.
I recommend using the phrase,
"You could say that..."
before your pun.

Punny

The punniness of a situation can often be accentuated by adding a pun-word. Pun-words are words that normally start with "un" or have an "un" sound at the beginning.

Example:
You: The current events really shock me!
Audience: Hahaha...
You: Yeah, that was really punny, wasn't it?
Audience: Heh...
You: I guess you could say it was really punsuccessful.
Audience: Groan...
Etc.

Good pun-words include:
Pun-intended: Sorry, that was pun-intendid.
Pun-intentional: I didn't mean to make a pun, I swear! It was Pun-intentional!
Pun-expected: That was pun-expectedly funny!
Pun-wanted: I guess my jokes are pun-wanted!
Pun-satisfactory: That last one a little pun-satisfactory.

Don't overuse, or your audience will quickly tire!

Additionally, one can replace the first letters of words with the "un" sound with p's.
Are you having a pun time reading this?
Ahh! More bad jokes! Pun away!
Etc.