On "Clothes"

Clothes sounds like close.  Use accoringly:

The apparel store is clothes.

After clothe-ly examining their wares, I decided that my time there had come to a clothe.

Apparel-ntly, everyone thinks my puns sock.  I think they're pantastic.  It's shir-tough to please everyone.

(3.5/5)

Material Pun

A new dress manufacturer wanted to make clothes out of synthetic materials only.  It never cott-on.


(Rating: 3/5)

Phone Pun

My bad phone camera takes unrealistic photos.  It makes everything look phony.

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Laundry Pun

Q: How did the man feel when carrying his heavy laundry basket?

A: He felt hampered.

(Rating: 3/5)

Faction Pun

What do you call a sect with esoteric rites?

Diffi-cult!

(Rating: 2/5)

Reference pun, day 2

How did the librarian feel about the aforementioned amazing bibliography?

He was quite ex-cited!

(Rating: 2.5/5, but only when used in conjunction)

Reference pun, day 1

What do you call an amazing bibliography?

Quite a cite!

(Rating: 4/5)

Insect pun?

How was the man when he was blocked by a giant, multilegged insect?

He was cent-impeded.

(Rating: 2/5)

Calcoolus, part 2

Summations are seriesous business.

(Rating: 3/5)

Calcoolus, part 1 (Math Pun)

Performing substitutions to solve integrals is u's-full.

(Rating: 3.5/5)

Inflated ego (Balloon pun)

How did the balloon feel about his upcoming party?

He was pumped!

(Rating: 3.5/5)

This pun is da bomb. (Bomb pun)

What do you call a happy hand-explosive?

A Grinade!

(Rating: 2.5/5)

Are you rooting for me? (Root pun)

Q: How do martial artists cut their edible roots?

A: With a carrot-y chop!

(Rating: 3/5)